Cost of Education

http://intuthuko.com/the-cost-of-an-education/ by  Angelica Jopson

The global cost of education is rising. But, according to Shelia Amanya, for the girls in Kabarole District, Uganda, the price is more than just financial.

Shelia is Ugandan. She grew up in Fort Portal and works as part of RASYN (Rwenzori Abstinence and Scripture Union Youth Network).

She explains that in high poverty areas many students drop out of school and higher education due to lack of fees. Those that stay often don’t have money to pay for books and materials, so, they turn to sex.

“You find a student will have sex with a man maybe because she is lacking a book, she is lacking a pen or a uniform”, Shelia says.

This is not unique to Kabarole District.

A study published by Makerere Univeristy School of Public Health last year reported that 15.4% of sexually active secondary school pupils in the country’s capital, Kampala, said the reason for their first time was money and other favours from their partners.

This practice is particularly common amongst girls as there are less opportunities for them to earn money than their male counterparts.

“What I’ve seen with men is they can find work”, Shelia says. “They can garden, they can fetch water for other people.”

A 2012 government report shows that since 1992 poverty in the country has been declining year on year, with the exception of 2002/2003. While indicators paint a brighter picture, those not yet in reach of the fabled middle-class status still find themselves vulnerable.

Shelia’s approach is to educate youth about faith, HIV/AIDS and to promote abstinence as well as teach them entrepreneurial skills.

The abstinence part of Uganda’s ABC (Abstinence, Be faithful, use a Condom) approach to HIV/AIDS prevention was initially credited with the successful drop in infections between the early 1990′s and 2005, but since 2006 numbers have again been climbing.

While the debate on which approach to HIV/AIDS prevention yields the most favourable long-term results continues when it comes to giving a young girl an alternative to having sex for school books the answer seems simple; financial opportunity.

Shelia agrees that without offering youth an alternative way to get what they need, any message is futile.

“Telling a youth to abstain from sex without supporting and empowering them with the skills to be economically and financially stable is like forcing a hungry dog to sleep on an empty stomach”, she says, “it will break the kennel to go and steal.”

RASYN have recently bought a piece of land in Fort Portal which will be turned into a agricultural project giving youth in the area the opportunity to learn practical skills and earn money from the produce they sell.

Currently they’re waiting for a soil assessment to reveal which vegetables will yield the best results.

Once the project kicks off Shelia hopes it will provide a practical alternative for young people and will give them the financial freedom to complete their education without having to swap sex for gifts or money.

“When I speak to the youth I really want them to understand that if you are poor or an orphan it doesn’t mean that you have to go sleep with men and women,” she says.

RASYN-CVM ON VOICE OF TORO ON 13TH/ 7 /2013

                 RASYN-CVM ON VOICE OF TOORO  ON 13 .7.2013 TEACHING WHY IS SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE BAD

1.    Disappointment: People often think that the passionate illicit sex experienced prior to marriage vows will continue into marriage. Sorry, but life happens!  We get tired, bored, uninterested, and we can even experience headaches.

When we settle down in marriage it should be about commitment, friendship, and feeling honored. Our relationship should not be based on sexuality. When the relationship begins with sexual intimacy instead of developing healthy communication, often one spouse can feel disappointed, rejected, and bitter when the sexual intimacy wanes.

Each sexual experience is like a leech that latches on and we never forget. Those experiences can cause comparisons that may lead to disappointment later with our spouse. No reason to test drive your potential partner as we often hear. In a safe, loving relationship developed with honor and respect you should be able to openly share your needs with your loving spouse. And if you need help there are plenty of books and magazines that will offer advice, but wait to read those with your spouse.

2.    Disrespect: Often having a sexual relationship in dating can lead to feelings of being used and rejected. Premarital sex is the pursuit of self-gratification at the expense of someone else’s honor. A safe loving sexual relationship is one of the benefits of marriage not of dating.

Never disrespect yourself by giving into a pushy man or woman who demands sex. If you are valued for who you are, not what you do in bed, then he or she will wait until marriage. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1Corinthians 6:18)

3.    Disillusionment: Often sex will cloud our perception. We are unable to see clearly who that person is. We ignore all the character flaws and red flags. Being sexually enmeshed in the relationship prevents us from breaking away from the dating relationship. In marriage those problems become clear, yet they were there all along. We just covered them up by being sexual. Women, save yourself a lot of trouble, keep your eyes open to potential problems, while you keep your panties on.

4.    Disease:  Over fifty million men and women in the United States are infected with sexually transmitted diseases that can cause severe pain, infertility, cervical cancer, and birth defects to children. Not to mention humiliation when you find someone you want to marry, but have to explain that you have an STD. The Bible says, "What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of?" (Romans 6:18)

Ten Reasons Why Sex Should Wait Until Marriage

by Nancy Hanna
nancyhanna1800@hotmail.com

1. Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly it can create boundless energy; when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is a gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure, to help in creating a deep companionship with one's spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.
2. Sexual activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their life.
3. The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.
4. Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life, the person you committed yourself to stay with forever in marriage. Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to give to your spouse. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Don't lose something so precious in a thoughtless way.
5. Those who engage in premarital sex run a high risk of contracting one of the many venereal diseases rampant today, as well as losing their fertility. Not just AIDS, but other common disfiguring diseases like herpes have no cure.
6. Some venereal diseases have no symptoms and many couples discover many years later that they became infertile because of these diseases. Infertility experts estimate that 80% of today's infertility is due to venereal diseases contracted before they married.
7. The best and only method that guarantees 100% against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases is to wait for marriage to have sex and maintain fidelity in your marriage.
8. Premarital sex breaks the 10 Commandments given by God. The 10 Commandments are given to man by God to make man happy. They are not outdated and they are not restrictive. If we follow these laws, we can create happy and prosperous lives. If we don't follow them, we will pay a heavy price in divorce, disease, abortions, illegitimate children and loneliness. Modern men make a big mistake when they think that they can break these eternal laws and not suffer consequences.
9. Premarital sex runs the risk of conceiving illegitimate children. Numerous scientific studies show that the children of single mothers suffer psychologically and are less successful socially and academically than children from intact families. Above all, children need both their father and their mother. It is wrong to risk having children who will never have their father's love, protection and care.
10. If you date and you don't have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of sexual involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce. The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.

    

    Sex before marriage is wrong. RASYN-CVM preaches total abstinence until marriage 

THE BENEFITS OF STAYING A VIRGIN

I'm a virgin, and waiting to share that special gift of human
sexuality with that one person I will commit the rest of my life to in
marriage (when and if :) A strong foundation supports of a marriage
is intended to be the exclusive physical/emotional bond of sexual
union. One of the most beautiful ways I think of saving myself for my
future wife is looking at it this way: I'm going to love her SOOOO
much that right now, as I go through life (even though I don't know
for sure who it is I may marry :) I am saving this GIFT.

And I want to give this GIFT only to her, a one of a kind, the most
precious person I will ever meet. And she DESERVES it. That gift I
will have hopefully kept to show her that she is something REALLY,
REALLY SPECIAL. And you know what, I know she will appreciate that
with her whole heart. In today's society it's a rare and unique person
who wishes to save that gift of sexual union for his/her lifetime
marriage partner. I would encourage anyone questioning, feeling the
peer pressure, the societal pressure, the boyfriend/girlfriend
pressure, to wait until you both enter that lifetime covenant with
each other. What could be more exciting, more special, more emotional
than sharing the wonders of sex with your one true and dedicated love!?! Think about
it. Think about the future. Think about your future wife or husband.
Don't they deserve your absolute best? It's something that you will
remember forever, and what better way to experience it than in a
relationship lasting a lifetime. :) 

Waiting to Have Sex Until After Marriage

Abstinence, what percentage of this generation practices it? I don't know, but 'm sure the number is fairly low. Among my age group (late teens to early twenties) I know very few virgins. Has abstinence died? Is it an old fashioned belief only followed by highly religious people? I don't believe so.

Some believe that waiting until marriage to have sex is impossible. I've had many people tell me that I will end up having sex before I get married. There are probably a few that don't even believe or at least are not sure that I am still a virgin. But, I will abstain and I am a virgin. There are some good reasons to wait until marriage and it is possible.

Reasons to Wait

No Regrets

Many young people have sex, end up breaking up at some point down the line and regret it. There are other reasons why sex ends up a regret sometimes and it's one of those things that's impossible to take back.

Love You For You

This may come across as a slightly cynical reason. Practicing abstinence means that you can be 100% sure that your significant other is not with you for what he/she gets in bed. I know what some of you are thinking: that there is no way your partner could ever feel that way and I'm not saying they do. However, there are a few people like that and they often don't let it show until it's already over.

A Special Moment, A Special Gift

A wedding is one of the best days in a person's life, and of course, everyone looks to their wedding night. Just imagine how much more special that night would be if it were your first time making love. What better wedding gift to your new spouse than your virginity. It's a gift you can only give once, and to only one person.

No Babies

The only, only way you can be completely sure that you or your girlfriend won't get pregnant is by not having sex. There are plenty of different birth control methods. However, none of them is infallible. There is always at least a slight risk of conception. If you practice abstinence though, there will be zero risk.

BREAKING THE MOLD

Breaking the Mold

Einstein said that the definition of insanity was “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Think of all the things in this age that are the same: Most people have sex before marriage. For most people, the divorce rate is above 50%. Most people complain of frigid, bland marriages that are sad, neutered versions of their pre-marriage relationships. Most people follow the rules and the norms of everyone around them, and as a consequence are carried through similar paths and predictable milestones, both good and bad. But not you.

You have stepped outside the conventions of world and said “No. I’m going to be different.”

Whatever else you do in your life, you have made one choice that sets you vastly apart from the crowd. You have made a statement to the world that you will ignore conventions if you believe it right to do so; if there is glory in it. You will be forever unique, for better and for worse.

And above all, you have done something different. You have broken the mold. And that is sure to bring you unexpected and different results. Enjoy your adventure.

WHEN YOU WAIT YOU HAVE A STORY TO TELL YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN

A Great Example Your kids.

Most parents get stuck on this dilemma: How do I make them do what I say, and not what I did when I was their age? Parents had their youth.

 They had their teenage sex and their pot smoking and all the trouble. Then they grew up, had kids, and suddenly got serious about morals and values.

But here’s the problem: You can tell your kids what you think they should do, but ultimately what you did is going to show through. You cannot escape the decisions of your own past and how they shaped your personality. It is that personality —and every decision attached to it — that’s going to rub off on your kids whether you like it or not.

The mom who sleeps around in her youth, then as an adult sticks her kids in church and espouses the virtues of waiting till marriage will most likely end up with one of those church kids who has sex in the bathroom in between youth group sessions (i.e., a holier-than-thou hypocrite that every rational kid hates).

Plus, if you’re trying to tell your child not to do something, they can instantly destroy the credibility of your point with this question: What did you do when you were my age?

What kind of answers will you have when your kids start asking those questions? What will rub off on your kids as far as relationships and sex goes?

If you wait until marriage to have sex, and you focus on having an obviously great relationship with your husband/wife, you will have a lot of solid ground to stand on when your kids start approaching that age. You want to be able to say “I saved everything for your father/mother. That’s partially why we still have such a great relationship, and why all of your friends’ parents are divorced.”

But again, it won’t matter much what you say. It’s what you did that will rub off. And in your case that will work in your favor.

A True-Story Example

My friend’s parents, who we’ll call Bob and Susie, grew up in a small, highly-religious community (we’re talking near-Amish, from what I understand). When Bob and Susie fell in love and decided to get married, they had to follow the traditions of the town before their marriage could be condoned. First, they had to spend a year apart from each other without any communication whatsoever.

When they reunited a year later, they had to re-assess whether they still wanted to get married. They did. Then they had to stand naked in front of each other, to make sure they were physically OK with what they were getting into. They were. Then they were allowed to marry.

This was waiting-till-marriage to the extreme. Today, thirty years later, they’re one of the closest married couples I’ve ever known. Everything they do is as a team. And they seem to still have so much love for each other.

They are very calm, rational people. I’m close with their son, and there are no stories about them being over-bearing about religious behavior or anything like that. Looking at them, you’d never know that they had such structured religious upbringing.

Now, their kids: two girls and a boy. Both of the girls waited until marriage, and are two of the sweetest, most beautiful girls I have ever met. They are the kind of people that it’s impossiblenot to like because they are so unrelentingly kind-natured and caring. As smart, beautiful, and successful as each of the daughters are…they are also very, very good people.

The son didn’t wait till marriage. He rebelled for a little bit, as oldest sons often do. But you can still see those tight family values in him. He ended up marrying a girl who was waiting till marriage (he waited with her for six years while they dated). He worked harder at that relationship than I’ve ever seen somebody in their 20′s work at anything.

So you can see how having parents who waited can positively affect the relationships that their kids have throughout their life.

When you wait until marriage, you will pass your preference for committed, meaningful relationships on to your kids, and that’s a very wonderful gift to give them.