My girlfriend wants to
abstain from sex
''we are not in a relationship because we need sex, we can wait until all is ready for us''. Said Sheila Amanya This story made me so happy
I am a 17 year old guy with a 16 year old girlfriend. As the title says
my girlfriend wants to abstain from sex (only have sex when she gets married)
and I don’t think, no I know that I will never be able to do that… I have never
ever in my life understood why people want to abstain (Not bragging but I am an
intelligent person and have looked as to why people abstain and I just don’t
agree with them at all…).
We have been dating for 6 months and I have to say that it’s been the best 6 months of my life. I love her, I really do, I kinda believe that I have found my soul mate and I know how much she loves me (don’t know if she thinks that I am her soul mate though…).
When we were dating for about 3 months she told me out of the blue that she didn’t like public displays of affection. I was stunned because we had been kissing (just a peck on the lips) in public for all those 3 months and to find out that this made her uncomfortable I just did not again understand why but I told her that it was fine, no more PDA because I respected her wishes and her believe. Then a while later she told me that she doesn’t want to have sex in High School. This one hit me a lot more than the other one…
I really had to sit and think about this one because let’s be honest this has never been part of my plans. It was a very, very difficult situation this one. I really did think of leaving her… We got into an argument and I learnt that she didn’t actually love me with all her heart because each time she had done that she had gotten her heart shattered and it took her very long to get over it. Now I understood her reasons but the fact that she sad that she didn’t want to get attached to me because she knew that this would end. This didn’t only hurt me, it crushed me, there I was giving a 100% to this relationship only to find out that she had been giving 60%... I really, really thought that this was the end… But then she told me something that she had only told one person in her life, that was her best friend and it had taken her years for her to tell her this, when she was six she was raped. This then made so many things more acceptable, like why she hated public displays of affection and why she didn’t want to have sex in high school. Even though she told me this and I felt extremely sorry for her and what had happened I still wanted to end the relationship… Then she called me and she said that she had been crying for the whole day because she really thought about how life would be without me and she had gotten attached to me, without knowing she let me into her heart and she didn’t want me to leave her… I took her back and overlooked the no sex in high school thing because I mean it was only going to be 2 years and since we are in high school it really didn’t affect me you know.
I also learnt throughout that we were dating that her father was a heavy alcohol abuser and that he cheated on his wife regularly….
Then we hit our 6 month anniversary and she told me how much she loved me and that she has previously believed that it was impossible to not find true love while you were a teen but I was a testament that it was possible. Then 2 days later she hit me with a huge *** slap, “I only want to have sex when I am married”. It kinda didn’t shock me as much actually now that I think about it but now we have been “discussing” this for the whole week now, literally we started this “discussion” on Monday last week.
I told her straight up that I don’t think that I will be able to do this… She gave me her reasons, she said that it was something that she decided long ago and that she didn’t want to make God look at her badly (the way I put that sounds so wrong, as a side note, right before we started dating she let God life into her life, I don’t or I can't, religion is just something I don’t understand…) and that she believed that sex was created so that 2 people can make a baby and that is what God intended it to be. She said that she always looked at her friends in the bad light that they were always having sex but then she learnt that it’s their choice and that it’s their lives and she didn’t want to judge them for it. I asked her if it was because she got raped and she said that no not really but it defiantly made her choice much more easier, she had decided this long ago…
Now I told myself that I wouldn’t leave her for sex, no I would and could not ever leave her for that, I love her too much.
We have been dating for 6 months and I have to say that it’s been the best 6 months of my life. I love her, I really do, I kinda believe that I have found my soul mate and I know how much she loves me (don’t know if she thinks that I am her soul mate though…).
When we were dating for about 3 months she told me out of the blue that she didn’t like public displays of affection. I was stunned because we had been kissing (just a peck on the lips) in public for all those 3 months and to find out that this made her uncomfortable I just did not again understand why but I told her that it was fine, no more PDA because I respected her wishes and her believe. Then a while later she told me that she doesn’t want to have sex in High School. This one hit me a lot more than the other one…
I really had to sit and think about this one because let’s be honest this has never been part of my plans. It was a very, very difficult situation this one. I really did think of leaving her… We got into an argument and I learnt that she didn’t actually love me with all her heart because each time she had done that she had gotten her heart shattered and it took her very long to get over it. Now I understood her reasons but the fact that she sad that she didn’t want to get attached to me because she knew that this would end. This didn’t only hurt me, it crushed me, there I was giving a 100% to this relationship only to find out that she had been giving 60%... I really, really thought that this was the end… But then she told me something that she had only told one person in her life, that was her best friend and it had taken her years for her to tell her this, when she was six she was raped. This then made so many things more acceptable, like why she hated public displays of affection and why she didn’t want to have sex in high school. Even though she told me this and I felt extremely sorry for her and what had happened I still wanted to end the relationship… Then she called me and she said that she had been crying for the whole day because she really thought about how life would be without me and she had gotten attached to me, without knowing she let me into her heart and she didn’t want me to leave her… I took her back and overlooked the no sex in high school thing because I mean it was only going to be 2 years and since we are in high school it really didn’t affect me you know.
I also learnt throughout that we were dating that her father was a heavy alcohol abuser and that he cheated on his wife regularly….
Then we hit our 6 month anniversary and she told me how much she loved me and that she has previously believed that it was impossible to not find true love while you were a teen but I was a testament that it was possible. Then 2 days later she hit me with a huge *** slap, “I only want to have sex when I am married”. It kinda didn’t shock me as much actually now that I think about it but now we have been “discussing” this for the whole week now, literally we started this “discussion” on Monday last week.
I told her straight up that I don’t think that I will be able to do this… She gave me her reasons, she said that it was something that she decided long ago and that she didn’t want to make God look at her badly (the way I put that sounds so wrong, as a side note, right before we started dating she let God life into her life, I don’t or I can't, religion is just something I don’t understand…) and that she believed that sex was created so that 2 people can make a baby and that is what God intended it to be. She said that she always looked at her friends in the bad light that they were always having sex but then she learnt that it’s their choice and that it’s their lives and she didn’t want to judge them for it. I asked her if it was because she got raped and she said that no not really but it defiantly made her choice much more easier, she had decided this long ago…
Now I told myself that I wouldn’t leave her for sex, no I would and could not ever leave her for that, I love her too much.
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